Negativity
I don't think anything is as draining as dealing with negativity. It sucks the life out of you :) Here's the problem: Lots of people are negative. I think the twelve spies are a microcosm. Ten were negative and two were positive. I think that is how it breaks down in most churches.
There is such a fine line between healthy processing of legitimate frustrations and negative venting that doesn't serve any redeeming purpose.
I think negativity is ten times as contagious as positivity! It's so easy for things to spiral downward. It's the human condition. It's emotional entropy!
So how do you arrest negativity and put it in handcuffs and throw it in jail?
I think it's ok to call it like you see it. You've got to make a "meta observation." "Hey guys, it seems like there is some negativity happening here. Let's deal with it if it needs to be dealt with, but I don't want us to get derailed."
I think negativity is best dealt with privately and sometimes "ex post facto." You've got to do a post mortem. You've got to let someone know that they are "bringing the morale of the group down to their level." Most people are totally unaware of how their negative emotions affect others. And no one tells them!
One of my pet peeves is someone yawning during a meeting. It communicates two non-verbal messages--I'm tired or I'm bored. Neither one is acceptable!
I used to validate all negativity :) I would play defense. Now I try to confront it and actually play offense instead of defense if I feel there is a false dichotomy.
For example, lots of pastors hear this one from people who want their needs meet. "I'm not sure we should focus on reaching more people for Christ because we need our congregation to mature." If someone says that I'll say "That's stupid." Just kidding :) I'll say, "I think that is a false dichotomy--we should stop doing the great commission because we need to mature spiritually. So let me get this straight. Let's disobey God so we can grow up. Let's stop evangelizing so we can be discipled. That makes zero sense."
I try to help them see through their false perception or assumption.
One final thought.
The only way to overcome negativity is with positivity!
There is such a fine line between healthy processing of legitimate frustrations and negative venting that doesn't serve any redeeming purpose.
I think negativity is ten times as contagious as positivity! It's so easy for things to spiral downward. It's the human condition. It's emotional entropy!
So how do you arrest negativity and put it in handcuffs and throw it in jail?
I think it's ok to call it like you see it. You've got to make a "meta observation." "Hey guys, it seems like there is some negativity happening here. Let's deal with it if it needs to be dealt with, but I don't want us to get derailed."
I think negativity is best dealt with privately and sometimes "ex post facto." You've got to do a post mortem. You've got to let someone know that they are "bringing the morale of the group down to their level." Most people are totally unaware of how their negative emotions affect others. And no one tells them!
One of my pet peeves is someone yawning during a meeting. It communicates two non-verbal messages--I'm tired or I'm bored. Neither one is acceptable!
I used to validate all negativity :) I would play defense. Now I try to confront it and actually play offense instead of defense if I feel there is a false dichotomy.
For example, lots of pastors hear this one from people who want their needs meet. "I'm not sure we should focus on reaching more people for Christ because we need our congregation to mature." If someone says that I'll say "That's stupid." Just kidding :) I'll say, "I think that is a false dichotomy--we should stop doing the great commission because we need to mature spiritually. So let me get this straight. Let's disobey God so we can grow up. Let's stop evangelizing so we can be discipled. That makes zero sense."
I try to help them see through their false perception or assumption.
One final thought.
The only way to overcome negativity is with positivity!
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