Waiting Room Diatribe
There is no place like doctor's waiting rooms is there? I had my annual check-up today and it took two hours and forty-five minutes. No, that's not a misprint. And yes, most of it was pure waiting. By the way, who the heck invented those gowns you wear? We put a man on the moon. Certainly we can do better than paper gowns? Come folks! For the amount of money we pay for health insurance you'd think they'd be made of velvet or casmere or at least 80% cotton! I have several graduate degrees. I'd like to consider myself fairly adept at getting dressed. I've been doing it on my own now for about thirty-two years. And I couldn't get the thing tied in back! And the second I sat down it tore right up the seam. In the words of Jim Carrey, "B E A utiful."
By the way, I had one of those "awkward moments" as I was waiting. The nurse said, "You can leave your shorts on" when she left the room. I assumed that was the tactful way of saying "undershorts" or "underpants." But as I was sitting there in my "shorts" and "gown" I realized that I had worn shorts to the office and I wondered if I had gotten more undressed than I had really been instructed. And if that was the case then I would be extremely embarrassed. Did she mean "shorts" as in "shorts" or "shorts" as in "undershorts." Hmmmm. As I sat there contemplating the semantics of shorts I realized that I could put my "overshorts" back on, but what if the doctor came in while I was getting dressed and she really meant "undershorts." Let me just say that there was a high level of angst as I sat there contemplating my options. For the record, "shorts" does mean "undershorts" at least according to this particular nurse in this particular doctor's office. I guess I could have clarified all of this upfront, but it's just embarrassing all the way around isn't it? "Excuse me, do you mean 'shorts" as in 'undershorts' also known as 'underpants.' Or do you mean 'shorts' as in the shorts I wore on the way in here?" Ahhh...the paradoxical predicaments we find ourselves in.
Then I went to the pharmacy. One simple question. Why tell someone it'll only be twenty minutes when it'll take forty minutes? I mean, next to weather forecasters, pharmacists must be the most inaccurate people on the planet. Here's the funny thing. They can't estimate time real well, but we'll entrust our lives to them by taking the prescriptions they fill. Maybe it's just my pharmacy, but I sure hope their inability to efficiently fill prescriptions is the only area they are inefficient in!
Well, that's my diatribe for the day!
By the way, the good news is that I got a clean bill of health! Besides my two reconstructed knees, asthma, and ruptured intestines I'm the picture of health :)
And for the record, the first thing the doctor said when he finally came into my exam room was, "Sorry for waiting." I wanted to recommend that they space their appointments a little further apart to keep patients from waiting so long. But I chickened out :) I wonder how many cumulative hours are spent in doctor's waiting rooms in a single year? Imagine what would happen to the Gross National Product (GNP) if we cut it in half?
Alright, now my diatribe is really over!
By the way, I had one of those "awkward moments" as I was waiting. The nurse said, "You can leave your shorts on" when she left the room. I assumed that was the tactful way of saying "undershorts" or "underpants." But as I was sitting there in my "shorts" and "gown" I realized that I had worn shorts to the office and I wondered if I had gotten more undressed than I had really been instructed. And if that was the case then I would be extremely embarrassed. Did she mean "shorts" as in "shorts" or "shorts" as in "undershorts." Hmmmm. As I sat there contemplating the semantics of shorts I realized that I could put my "overshorts" back on, but what if the doctor came in while I was getting dressed and she really meant "undershorts." Let me just say that there was a high level of angst as I sat there contemplating my options. For the record, "shorts" does mean "undershorts" at least according to this particular nurse in this particular doctor's office. I guess I could have clarified all of this upfront, but it's just embarrassing all the way around isn't it? "Excuse me, do you mean 'shorts" as in 'undershorts' also known as 'underpants.' Or do you mean 'shorts' as in the shorts I wore on the way in here?" Ahhh...the paradoxical predicaments we find ourselves in.
Then I went to the pharmacy. One simple question. Why tell someone it'll only be twenty minutes when it'll take forty minutes? I mean, next to weather forecasters, pharmacists must be the most inaccurate people on the planet. Here's the funny thing. They can't estimate time real well, but we'll entrust our lives to them by taking the prescriptions they fill. Maybe it's just my pharmacy, but I sure hope their inability to efficiently fill prescriptions is the only area they are inefficient in!
Well, that's my diatribe for the day!
By the way, the good news is that I got a clean bill of health! Besides my two reconstructed knees, asthma, and ruptured intestines I'm the picture of health :)
And for the record, the first thing the doctor said when he finally came into my exam room was, "Sorry for waiting." I wanted to recommend that they space their appointments a little further apart to keep patients from waiting so long. But I chickened out :) I wonder how many cumulative hours are spent in doctor's waiting rooms in a single year? Imagine what would happen to the Gross National Product (GNP) if we cut it in half?
Alright, now my diatribe is really over!
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