Golden Calf Relationships
I continue The Game of Life series tomorrow. The Big Idea is fall in love. By the way, I don't think love into something you fall into. It's something you ought to walk into with both eyes wide-open. I think it'd be awesome if everybody feel head over heels in love with somebody. But it has to be for the right reasons. Too many people confuse "falling in love" with "falling in lust" :)
I think our concept of love is backwards. Genesis 24:67 doesn't say, "Isaac loved her and she became his wife." It says, "So she became his wife, and he loved her." I'm not saying you shouldn't love someone before you marry someone. But love is a choice. My all-time favorite definition of marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. I think you should marry someone because you love them. But you should also love them because you married them. It's both/and.
Golden Calf Relationships
Remember the story of the golden calf in Exodus 32? I read that story and part of me laughs at how goofy it is. They make a calf with their gold jewelry and then they bow down and worship it. They even give it credit for getting them out Egypt. Makes you want to "silly slap" them doesn't it? Come on, people!
I laugh at that story until I realize how silly some of my "golden calves" are. Let me get to the point. I think "finding a soulmate" is the primary golden calf that twenty-somethings are tempted to bow down to and worship. I don't say that in an accusatory tone. I honestly believe that the desire to get married is a godly desire. It's something God has hardwired into the human soul. But here's the problem. If we seek a spouse more than we seek God we've got a relationship idol or golden calf relationship.
An idol is anything that is more important to us than God. And if we aren't careful, we can fall into the same trap the Israelites fell into. Remember what happened? They got tired of waiting. Isn't that the hardest part? I know lots of people who are playing the waiting game instead of the dating game. And they're sick and tired of waiting. If that's you, read this next paragraph twice.
In Exodus 32:23, the Israelites say to Aaron, "Make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him." The Israelites couldn't wait forty days! They had a "waiting problem" which is a spiritual problem. I'm not sure exactly what day the Israelites quit the waiting game and starting making an idol for themselves. But if they had just held on a few days longer they would have avoided the plague (Exodus 32:35). If only they could have seen what was happening on the mountain. God and Moses were planning their future! The Israelites felt abandoned, but the reality is that during that "holding pattern" God was making plans for Israel.
I have a friend who just sent out 300 resumes with no response, but he said something profound. "I've walked with God long enough to know that when it seems like nothing is happening God is up to something!" If only the Israelites had had that perspective!
Here is the great danger we face when we're waiting. We'll be tempted to revert to old patterns and head back to Egypt--the place of bondage. We'll be tempted to think that God has forgotten us. We'll be tempted to settle for second best. That's what an idol is. It's anything less than God's best. A relationship that isn't God-ordained is a "golden calf" relationship. And here's what happens. A person starts sacrificing to the god of relationship when they should sacrifice the relationship to God. They make compromises they shouldn't make. All because they can't see God planning their future. All because they lose faith that the God who has brought them this far will get them all the way to promise land. So they settle for a manufactured idol. Don't try to manufacture a relationship! I'm not saying you shouldn't be praying and watching. I'm not saying you shouldn't initiate a relationship. But there is a subtle difference between looking for a relationship and letting a relationship find you.
Here's a promise. Whether it's forty days or forty months or forty years, if you play the waiting game and hold out for God's best, God will always make it worth the wait.
I think our concept of love is backwards. Genesis 24:67 doesn't say, "Isaac loved her and she became his wife." It says, "So she became his wife, and he loved her." I'm not saying you shouldn't love someone before you marry someone. But love is a choice. My all-time favorite definition of marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. I think you should marry someone because you love them. But you should also love them because you married them. It's both/and.
Golden Calf Relationships
Remember the story of the golden calf in Exodus 32? I read that story and part of me laughs at how goofy it is. They make a calf with their gold jewelry and then they bow down and worship it. They even give it credit for getting them out Egypt. Makes you want to "silly slap" them doesn't it? Come on, people!
I laugh at that story until I realize how silly some of my "golden calves" are. Let me get to the point. I think "finding a soulmate" is the primary golden calf that twenty-somethings are tempted to bow down to and worship. I don't say that in an accusatory tone. I honestly believe that the desire to get married is a godly desire. It's something God has hardwired into the human soul. But here's the problem. If we seek a spouse more than we seek God we've got a relationship idol or golden calf relationship.
An idol is anything that is more important to us than God. And if we aren't careful, we can fall into the same trap the Israelites fell into. Remember what happened? They got tired of waiting. Isn't that the hardest part? I know lots of people who are playing the waiting game instead of the dating game. And they're sick and tired of waiting. If that's you, read this next paragraph twice.
In Exodus 32:23, the Israelites say to Aaron, "Make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him." The Israelites couldn't wait forty days! They had a "waiting problem" which is a spiritual problem. I'm not sure exactly what day the Israelites quit the waiting game and starting making an idol for themselves. But if they had just held on a few days longer they would have avoided the plague (Exodus 32:35). If only they could have seen what was happening on the mountain. God and Moses were planning their future! The Israelites felt abandoned, but the reality is that during that "holding pattern" God was making plans for Israel.
I have a friend who just sent out 300 resumes with no response, but he said something profound. "I've walked with God long enough to know that when it seems like nothing is happening God is up to something!" If only the Israelites had had that perspective!
Here is the great danger we face when we're waiting. We'll be tempted to revert to old patterns and head back to Egypt--the place of bondage. We'll be tempted to think that God has forgotten us. We'll be tempted to settle for second best. That's what an idol is. It's anything less than God's best. A relationship that isn't God-ordained is a "golden calf" relationship. And here's what happens. A person starts sacrificing to the god of relationship when they should sacrifice the relationship to God. They make compromises they shouldn't make. All because they can't see God planning their future. All because they lose faith that the God who has brought them this far will get them all the way to promise land. So they settle for a manufactured idol. Don't try to manufacture a relationship! I'm not saying you shouldn't be praying and watching. I'm not saying you shouldn't initiate a relationship. But there is a subtle difference between looking for a relationship and letting a relationship find you.
Here's a promise. Whether it's forty days or forty months or forty years, if you play the waiting game and hold out for God's best, God will always make it worth the wait.
3 Comments:
It is so true that we tend to start doubting when we are waiting rather than continuing to trust in the Lord. I have learned the hard way that His thoughts are in fact higher than mine, and any and all dating relationships I have consented to while simultaneously knowing in my heart that they were not someone I would marry have only brought grief for both parties involved. The relationship does become an idol because you are the one keeping it together, not God. In essense the success of the relationship soley depends on the people involved and becomes more important than worshipping the Lord alone. I have learned one thing through these relational mistakes though: God is infact good as His word says, and it is better to trust Him than try to figure it all out and manufacture something from nothing.
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Powerful word Kimberlee!! I'll shout a big AMEN to that!! :)
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