Be Yourself
Just had a conversation with a pastor who is really questioning whether or not to stay at the church he is currently at. He said something that really struck me. He said, "I don't feel like I can totally be myself."
I've blogged this before, but let me say it again. I am so grateful for a church where I can dress up in a Mr. Incredible Suit, river dance in the reflecting pool, or chase geese in the Anacostia river. In other words, I'm grateful for a church where I can be myself.
In the long run, I wonder if trying to be a "pastor" sometimes gets in the way of being ourselves. Life is too short. You've got to know who you are. You've got to know who you're not.
I honestly think my first few years of ministry I was really trying to be a pastor. Now I'm trying to be myself. There is a subtle yet significant difference!
Be Yourself.
I've blogged this before, but let me say it again. I am so grateful for a church where I can dress up in a Mr. Incredible Suit, river dance in the reflecting pool, or chase geese in the Anacostia river. In other words, I'm grateful for a church where I can be myself.
In the long run, I wonder if trying to be a "pastor" sometimes gets in the way of being ourselves. Life is too short. You've got to know who you are. You've got to know who you're not.
I honestly think my first few years of ministry I was really trying to be a pastor. Now I'm trying to be myself. There is a subtle yet significant difference!
Be Yourself.
11 Comments:
PM,
Don't forget our other illustrious performance of 'cool boy' from West Side Story.
Concurring on being grateful to be a part of the 'Be yourself' Church!
love it!
Rick
Mark,
It goes without saying that this is one of your core convictions. You have helped me to understand this principle in my life by just being who you are and not being who you are not. The last half of that sentence really resonates with me because for a long time I had the notion that I had to be something I am not to be what I am. (read that sentence twice if it doesn't make sense!) The weekend of Buzz marked nearly one year to the day that I sat in my Jeep in front of a hotel in Orlando and faced a cold, hard look at my life. It was a moment that a brother spoke into my life, kicked me in the shorts and encouraged me to pursue ministry. (He was someone who I had been a mentor/older brother/minister to for many years...an interesting paradigm shift when the ministeree becomes the minister.)
Wow, I should probably blog on that, huh!? haha
Anyway, all that to say thanks for being who you are and not who you are not. Peace.
Mark,
Hey my name is Joe and I am a Senior Pastor as well in Illinois! I read your article in Leadership Magazine last night and it rocked! Keep going forward! I will definatley be downloading your message each week! Hey about the issue of the Pastor wanting to leave his church because he cannot be himself...are we just talking about dress code here? If it is a dress code issue, "become all things to all people!" Put on the suit, you're wife probablly think you look sexier in it anyway and she is your first ministry! Can I say that...well I just did! If the issue runs deeper than just dress code, ask yourself, why are you there in the first place (evaluate) and then either adjust or move on!
www.wayofthepastor.blogspot.com
Way of the Pastor,
Joe
Sad to say, this very pressure has driven many people from the ministry frontlines.
And if it's not people putting pressure on you to be somnething you are not then at times the unspoken pressure from ministry peers also comes into play.
It has taken me almost 30 years of ministry to accept who I am and who God has called me to be. Could this be one of the examples Jesus may have been speaking of when He said "...take up your cross and follow me..."?
Pastor Mark,
Thank the Lord for you, sir. I am a pastor's wife, and this is THE BIGGEST area I've wrestled with. I always thought I had to be one of those mousy kind of women who stay in the background, serving tea and crumpets and wearing a big church lady hat. The devil is a liar! That is NOT who I am. So one time, I busted out and did something they totally did not expect. We threw a party for the youth @ church, and I was the DJ! Hello! The members LOVED it, and they told me later that they were glad I was just "myself". It's so good to be free @ last.
Some people can't be themselves because they really don't know who they are. We get so caught up in trying to be who others think we should be that we can't find the uniques individual that God created us to be. I want to inspire people to be the person God had in mind not their neighbors, family or even church.
peace
I totally agree. I've been working a lot on being Margaret lately. Outspoken, spunky, reflective, quirky me. It's been really quite wonderful...though my honey does have to edit me from time to time :).
wow, thanks Mark. This is exactly where I'm at in my life/ministry - trying to figure out my future while I'm at the church I'm currently at. I've been a youth pastor here 3 years, but I'm really feeling my heart and mind start to change, and I know that I just don't fit. I can't totally be myself...
thanks for this post..it's really helped me out.
Totally agree, one of the main reasons I am a church planter. Not only the great opportunity to be yourself, but create the DNA or thumbprint of what the church will look and be like. Amazing. The last year or ministry has been the best in my life.
I just spent a couple days with the authors of TrueFaced: Trust God and Others With Who You Really Are. Awesome and challenging book! Check it out at leadershipcatalyst.org.
Everyone should feel like they can attempt the Riverdance...if they want to.
I'm glad pastor's are figuring out how to be themselves.
Now we need pastors who can figure out how to let their church members be themselves. Too many church leaders refuse to let people make decisions about the ministry.
Tim
10,605 days
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