Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Pastoring
I just got an email from a pastor asking my advice: what are the top 3 things every person should know before they senior pastor their first church?
I haven't done a top ten list lately so here goes. Here are a few of my off the top of my head thoughts about pastoring:
#1 Be Yourself--even more important than being a pastor is being yourself. Be authentic. Be real. Share your weaknesses and struggles. Remind your congregation that you are a work in progress just like they are. Be true to the unique passions and giftings God has given you. Develop core values and core convictions.
#2 Put Your Family First--I limit my church-related meetings to one evening per week. Establish those boundaries early on. If there is ever a conflict between family and ministry it's a no-brainer. Family first.
#3 Have Fun--church ought to be the most enjoyable hour of the week. Don't take yourself too seriously. The healthiest and holiest people laugh at themselves the most. Let your congregation see you laugh at yourself. Alot.
#4 Keep Learning--readers are leaders and leaders are readers. Once you think you have it figured out it's the beginning of the end. There are ways of doing church that no one has discovered yet. Keep experimenting. Realize that if a 100 people give you 30 minutes of their time to listen to your sermon, your message better warrant 50 hours of listening time. Study to show yourself approved. And make sure you're doing both biblical exegesis and cultural exegesis.
#5--Hire people you like hanging out with--how much you enjoy ministry depends on who you're doing ministry with. Hire people you can laugh at. I mean with :) Hire people who love God and love life. Hire people who go the extra mile. Hire people who work hard and play hard. Hire the right people then let their portfolio conform to them like a new shoe conforms to your foot.
#6 Do Recon--You've got to do everything within your power to keep from going into maintenance mode. Stay in growth mode. Remain an open-source system. Go to conferences and visit other churches.
#7 Be a God-Pleaser--I remind myself of what Abraham Lincoln said all the time: you can please all the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time. Don't worry about offending people. Worry about offending God. Stay true to the vision God has given you. Don't waver when people want you to conform to their vision of what the church should be. You'll spend the rest of your life contorting yourself and your church into a thousand shapes. Make sure you're doing ministry out of the overflow of what God is doing in your life. Make sure you allow God to work in you before you ask Him to work through you. The church will never outgrow you! And if it does it's dangerous!
#8--Keep it Simple--less is more. We have two goals: plug into a small group and plug into a ministry. Don't try to do too much. Be really good at what you do. Know who you are. Know who you aren't. Develop a kingdom mindset. Learn to appreciate the unique role that others churches play in your community. Then play to your strengths.
#9 Paint Your Church Purple--either you are remarkable or invisible. Too many churches are ignorable. The good news ought to make the news. You've got to do things to get the attention of your community. Do what you do with an excellence that makes people do a double-take. Make sure you print materials are aesthetically pleasing. Do outreaches that bless the socks off your community. Find the needs in your community and fill them. Dare to be different. Add a touch of creativity to everything you do!
#10 Enjoy the Journey--if you're a visionary you'll tend to live for the future, but enjoy the moment. Be the best pastor you can be during every stage.
I haven't done a top ten list lately so here goes. Here are a few of my off the top of my head thoughts about pastoring:
#1 Be Yourself--even more important than being a pastor is being yourself. Be authentic. Be real. Share your weaknesses and struggles. Remind your congregation that you are a work in progress just like they are. Be true to the unique passions and giftings God has given you. Develop core values and core convictions.
#2 Put Your Family First--I limit my church-related meetings to one evening per week. Establish those boundaries early on. If there is ever a conflict between family and ministry it's a no-brainer. Family first.
#3 Have Fun--church ought to be the most enjoyable hour of the week. Don't take yourself too seriously. The healthiest and holiest people laugh at themselves the most. Let your congregation see you laugh at yourself. Alot.
#4 Keep Learning--readers are leaders and leaders are readers. Once you think you have it figured out it's the beginning of the end. There are ways of doing church that no one has discovered yet. Keep experimenting. Realize that if a 100 people give you 30 minutes of their time to listen to your sermon, your message better warrant 50 hours of listening time. Study to show yourself approved. And make sure you're doing both biblical exegesis and cultural exegesis.
#5--Hire people you like hanging out with--how much you enjoy ministry depends on who you're doing ministry with. Hire people you can laugh at. I mean with :) Hire people who love God and love life. Hire people who go the extra mile. Hire people who work hard and play hard. Hire the right people then let their portfolio conform to them like a new shoe conforms to your foot.
#6 Do Recon--You've got to do everything within your power to keep from going into maintenance mode. Stay in growth mode. Remain an open-source system. Go to conferences and visit other churches.
#7 Be a God-Pleaser--I remind myself of what Abraham Lincoln said all the time: you can please all the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time. Don't worry about offending people. Worry about offending God. Stay true to the vision God has given you. Don't waver when people want you to conform to their vision of what the church should be. You'll spend the rest of your life contorting yourself and your church into a thousand shapes. Make sure you're doing ministry out of the overflow of what God is doing in your life. Make sure you allow God to work in you before you ask Him to work through you. The church will never outgrow you! And if it does it's dangerous!
#8--Keep it Simple--less is more. We have two goals: plug into a small group and plug into a ministry. Don't try to do too much. Be really good at what you do. Know who you are. Know who you aren't. Develop a kingdom mindset. Learn to appreciate the unique role that others churches play in your community. Then play to your strengths.
#9 Paint Your Church Purple--either you are remarkable or invisible. Too many churches are ignorable. The good news ought to make the news. You've got to do things to get the attention of your community. Do what you do with an excellence that makes people do a double-take. Make sure you print materials are aesthetically pleasing. Do outreaches that bless the socks off your community. Find the needs in your community and fill them. Dare to be different. Add a touch of creativity to everything you do!
#10 Enjoy the Journey--if you're a visionary you'll tend to live for the future, but enjoy the moment. Be the best pastor you can be during every stage.
9 Comments:
thanks mark. I needed this.
I enjoyed this first thing this morning. Thanks for putting it out there. I was wondering how you roll with criticism inside and outside of the church?
Love #2, I've seen too many messed up PK's because the church was put first. It's exciting seeing a generation of PK's doing incredible things. My kids love church as much as I do. That tells me I'm on the right track:)
Thanks for this list. It's especially helpful as I am getting ready to enter the pastorate, although not a senior one, but still this is very applicable. Thanks!
Great insights. Thanks!
I'm not sure item #2 about making your family #1 is in line with Scripture.
Jesus said, "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26).
"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:37).
"Someone said to Him, 'Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.' But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, 'Who is My mother and who are My brothers?' And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, 'Behold My mother and My brothers! 'For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother'" (Matthew 12:47-50).
A recent example of this in my own life pales in comparison to what some people around the world face in order to follow Christ. That said, I've seen the dangers of not dealing with sin in a family, and of putting family loyalty before following principles that honor Christ. It winds up doing more harm than good to remain loyal to your close family members.
Dennis Bakke in the Postscript to his book Joy at Work was the first I saw to challenge that kind of unscriptural focus on the family.
He wrote "people often give a lower priority to their work at the factory or office than they do to their responsibilities at home. This is not biblical. I also am not convinced that the common admonition from pastors to put family life ahead of work outside the home is consistent with Scripture. Jesus, for example, appeared to put His work ahead of family. On the other hand, idolizing work, or always putting work ahead of family responsibilities, is not biblical, either" (254, emphases mine).
He has a special letter to pastors on his Web site.
Tim
10,607 days
I hit Publish a split second too soon!
To Bill Lorman's point about messed up PK's as a result of family and church out of balance, I would submit that is less a result of not putting family first and more a lack of fully applying the qualifications for church leadership.
Tim
10,607 days
I have to somewhat agree with Tim. We have made family an idol (in some cases). Ultimately it is about balance. I have seen a number of great ministers leave the ministry because their family committments were out of balance. I have also seen a number of minister's kids give up on God and minister's wives who have divorced their husbands because their Church committments were out of balance.
There are weeks where I work like crazy and there are weeks where I play with my kids and head to the office late. Sometimes, my putting family first would be detrimental to my ministry and sometimes the things I am tempted to put before my family would be detrimental to their health. The key is knowing which is which.
As Tim pointed out, Jesus called us to a larger, more Kingdom orientated view of family. Spiritually speaking, the kids at church are as much my kids as my biological kids at home. How can I let them walk away from God in the name of protecting my "family time"? On the flip side, God entrusted my children to me specifically. I have a higher level of obligation to them. I am their steward.
Balance, I think, is the key. If I have a perfect home life, but the people God has entrusted me to shepherd are going to hell, what kind of a Father am I really. And vice versus of course.
I meant to include a thanks for some great insight in that previous comment. Much of what you have said is not necessarily new thoughts, but a great compilation of truth and wisdom that we should consider as ministers and Christians.
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