Shadowland
I was driving out to Willowcreek Church for the A2 conference and I once again thanked God for our failed attempt to plant a church in the Chicago area. Not sure how to say this, but I really feel like our move to DC allowed us to be ourselves.
Lora and I thought we'd be in the Chicago area forever. But our inability to get a church plant to take root forced us to consider other options. Long story short, after completing two masters programs at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, we packed all of our belongings into a Uhaul and moved to DC.
I think some calls are vocational--you feel called to do a certain thing. Some calls are demographic--you feel called to a certain people. And some calls are geographic--you feel called to a certain place. I think our call was geographic. I really feel like DC is my parish. I honestly cannot imagine being anyplace else!
A little backstory.
My father-in-law, Bob Schmidgall, planted and pastored Calvary Church in Naperville, IL for 30+ years. It's a high-impact church in the Chicago area. And he cast a huge shadow. And I mean that in the most positive sense possible. But sometimes it's hard to be yourself if you're in someone else's shadow.
My father-in-law cast an amazing ministry shadow, but I wonder if staying in the shadow would have short-circuited our personal growth and ministry calling? I'm obvioulsy in reflective mode, but maybe chicagoland would have been shadowland.
I'm so grateful for my spiritual heritage, but I don't think God has called any of us to live in the shadows! It sort of reminds me of the Israelites who asked Moses to go up the mountain for them! They were content living in the shadow of Moses. But God wants to shine His light on each of us so we cast a unique shadow that is a reflection of His glory!
Our move to DC was scary, but I think it gave us the freedom to be ourselves; the freedom to fail; the freedom to do church the way we felt called to do church.
DC was terra incognita.
No Map. No precedent. No shadow.
Are you living in shadowland?
Step into the light.
FYI--This kind of post makes me feel a little vulnerable, but that's what is going on in my head and in my heart today!
Lora and I thought we'd be in the Chicago area forever. But our inability to get a church plant to take root forced us to consider other options. Long story short, after completing two masters programs at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, we packed all of our belongings into a Uhaul and moved to DC.
I think some calls are vocational--you feel called to do a certain thing. Some calls are demographic--you feel called to a certain people. And some calls are geographic--you feel called to a certain place. I think our call was geographic. I really feel like DC is my parish. I honestly cannot imagine being anyplace else!
A little backstory.
My father-in-law, Bob Schmidgall, planted and pastored Calvary Church in Naperville, IL for 30+ years. It's a high-impact church in the Chicago area. And he cast a huge shadow. And I mean that in the most positive sense possible. But sometimes it's hard to be yourself if you're in someone else's shadow.
My father-in-law cast an amazing ministry shadow, but I wonder if staying in the shadow would have short-circuited our personal growth and ministry calling? I'm obvioulsy in reflective mode, but maybe chicagoland would have been shadowland.
I'm so grateful for my spiritual heritage, but I don't think God has called any of us to live in the shadows! It sort of reminds me of the Israelites who asked Moses to go up the mountain for them! They were content living in the shadow of Moses. But God wants to shine His light on each of us so we cast a unique shadow that is a reflection of His glory!
Our move to DC was scary, but I think it gave us the freedom to be ourselves; the freedom to fail; the freedom to do church the way we felt called to do church.
DC was terra incognita.
No Map. No precedent. No shadow.
Are you living in shadowland?
Step into the light.
FYI--This kind of post makes me feel a little vulnerable, but that's what is going on in my head and in my heart today!
12 Comments:
We like vulnerability from our E-pastor.
Great thoughts on living in a shadowland, I myself have moved out of the 'shadowlands' to created new opportunities for myself.
Hmm. This is a challenging because part of the lion I was thinking about chasing means NOT moving geographically. However, I did make such a move (out of the Chicago area, away from family in ministry there) many years ago and that was exactly the thing that was necessary for growth. The shadow will be different for each of us, and in fact may be opposite for each of us, but the Son is always exactly the same, and exactly who we need to see.
Thanks for your vulnerability here and in the book
"But sometimes it's hard to be yourself if you're in someone else's shadow."
I think many young adults (and kids)have that feeling with their parents. Church planters have that feeling with their pastors. Employees have that with their bosses.
Sometimes starting in someone's shadow has a way of preparing you for even greater success once you get out of the shadow. The hard part is having the courage to take the scary step getting out of the shadow in the first place.
Praise the Lord for giving you that courage...and I can only hope we're all granted that kind of courage in our own lives.
Great post. Thanks for sharing your heart. I to will be moving into the unknown, but looking to cast the shadow. Who know's what God has in store.
Mark,
Thanks for this....I TOTALLY resonate as we left Southern California where I was born and raised and had some measure of ministry fruitfulness...to go to Northern Nevada where we knew NO ONE! God is and has always been amazingly faithful...and I wonder if we ever would have experienced what we have if we'd stayed in So. Cal.
You inspire me!
Ron,
Makes me think of Moses and Joshua. Joshua was his shadow :) Then we stepped out of that shadow. Interesting to look at relationships in Scripture via that filter.
Mark
I've always believed a willingness to show outward vulnerability is really an expression of inward strength...
The one thing that stood out to me in CS Lewis’s Shadowland was, “The child chose safety, the man choose suffering.”
Linda
I really appreciate the honesty Mark. As I mentioned to you about part of what you shared in your latest book, it really was helpful for me.
Linda,
What a cool quote! I love that :)
Mark
Thanks for your insight and new book. We're thinking about doing a series this summer with the theme of "Travelocity" and what a thought: traveling out of your shadows. Thanks Mark.
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