Why do pastors quit?
Been reflecting on that question since my conversation with Bo Boshers last week. Bo is the Executive Director of Student Ministries for the Willow Creek Association. He's doing a session at the Shift Conference on staying in ministry for the long-haul. Great topic for emerging leaders!
Few occupations take a toll like ministry. Ministry has unique benefits. But ministry also has unique emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges. We need to identify the greatest challenges pastors face. And then we need very transparent conversations about those challenges.
Some of the challenges are obvious. How do you balance family and ministry? How do you develop healthy boundaries? How do you steer clear of temptation? How do you handle criticism? How do you be a pastor and be yourself at the same time? How do you balance personal growth and church growth?
I'm thinking about talking about some of these challenges at a few of the conferences I'm speaking at this year. I'd love to get some feedback from pastors.
What is the greatest challenge you face?
What is the greatest threat to your ministry?
What is the most difficult part of pastoring?
Feel free to post a comment or email me at mark@theaterchurch.com.
Been reflecting on that question since my conversation with Bo Boshers last week. Bo is the Executive Director of Student Ministries for the Willow Creek Association. He's doing a session at the Shift Conference on staying in ministry for the long-haul. Great topic for emerging leaders!
Few occupations take a toll like ministry. Ministry has unique benefits. But ministry also has unique emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges. We need to identify the greatest challenges pastors face. And then we need very transparent conversations about those challenges.
Some of the challenges are obvious. How do you balance family and ministry? How do you develop healthy boundaries? How do you steer clear of temptation? How do you handle criticism? How do you be a pastor and be yourself at the same time? How do you balance personal growth and church growth?
I'm thinking about talking about some of these challenges at a few of the conferences I'm speaking at this year. I'd love to get some feedback from pastors.
What is the greatest challenge you face?
What is the greatest threat to your ministry?
What is the most difficult part of pastoring?
Feel free to post a comment or email me at mark@theaterchurch.com.
19 Comments:
Here is why I decided to fold my first church plant:
1. Culture became lethal to all parties involved.(staff/congregation/denom)
In my case we had a great & loving community. But we had a suburban/urban clash. I see it as the "wrong people were on the bus" even though the people wanted to be the "right" people.
2. Issues with vision:
My denom wanted me to re-plant in the "burbs." We wanted to stay downtown and urban. So this was an issue.
In many ways my vision was intact, but I felt I lost the support of the leaders above me.
(PS: Please don't take this as blaming anyone. I just know that a right culture & vision are vital. And it was my fault that I did not create that)
Planters and denoms have to be on the same page and clarify what the "win" is. Which is so different and unique in various situations.
Challenge:
Starting and maintaining momentum. For us (like most), we have certain seasons when momentum happens (Jan-Easter). I try to capitalize on that through a series, project, initiative, etc. It seems that I get the most bang for my buck during certain times so I put a lot of effort in those times to keep it interesting.
Threat:
Gaps in leadership. I mean this in two ways: 1. We have a great team, but naturally you have some turn over so many times ministries suffer. 2. As a leader, no one has all the answers. I challenge myself & my leaders (volunteer & staff) to be stretched and to surround themselves w/ people that are good in areas that they aren't, and be comfortable with giving them large "chunks" of their ministry.
Difficulty:
Time, time, time. The more we grow, the more time is an issue. I can't meet all the demands all the time. The balance of family (baby #2 is on the way), ministry, and community is taxing. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard was this, "If plates are going to drop, make sure it's not the expensive ones." I play to my strengths and accomplish the important things first - family time, weekend service, relational time w/ attendess/leaders, etc. If I drop anything, I will drop administrative stuff. However, my admin is good about picking up what I drop!
Challenge: Growing our church and getting new unchurched people.
Difficulty: Time, People, Money. I am bi-vocational - read that as i get no salary from the church and work full time in the secular world. Therefore I have very little time and energy to devote to all the various tasks a pastor has to do.
Threat: There is no weapon formed against me but my biggest threat is to see myself alone in this and give up or become lethargic.
Challenge - Culture. The greatest challenge I face is navigating the confusion of church cultural issues vs. genuine spiritual issues.
Threat - Cynicism. It seems like every month a new book comes out on how we are doing church wrong. It's easy to become cynical of eveything that you see in church if you aren't careful. For a young pastor like myself, it hard to take the "relevant" leaders serious all ofthe time because in ten years, someone will write a book about how they got it wrong too.
Difficulty - Time. There is always more to do than time to do it.
on your question:
one of the reasons i feel like quitting:
- senior pastor with zero vision
- senior pastor afraid of what "they" may say - "they" being the "people who pay our bills"
- senior pastor that wants results but can't stand change (!!!!)
- church with no vision
- church that just doesn't get God's vision for our community
The biggest challenge for me and our team is "chasing the lions". We're willing to risk big or go home - but it was easier when there was 25 of us. Now, we're making decisions that will affect 400 and more. There's just a lot more issues to consider a lot more complexity as you grow that way - it seems to me.
One of the biggest threats is not being God-dependent; we need to work like it all depends on us, but pray like it all depends on Him (because it does!). Sometimes we get the first part down, but not the second. Also, praying with an awareness of the unseen spiritual battles that are taking place when a church is on mission.
Difficulties: Especially as a newer church with over 50% unchurched people - there will never be enough money, leaders, etc. Whenever we think of starting a new service or a new site, it seems impossible - because of the amount of leadership resources that takes - thankfully nothing is impossible with God.
What is the greatest challenge you face?
Raising up leaders. It's not that they are not there, but that it takes time to develop them. Our church is growing faster than we can develop leaders to care for the flock.
What is the greatest threat to your ministry?
The "Tyranny of the Urgent." It is too easy to respond to the immediate need that pops up, rather than be strategic with the use of my time. I understand that interruptions are a part of the job, but it is easy to end up on way too many bunny trails.
Like Sid Draper said, "Being in ministry is like being a stray dog at a whistlers convention."
What is the most difficult part of pastoring?
I can only speak for my current situation, not "pastoring" in general. It goes along with the last two questions, for sure. Because of the nature of the beast at our church, sometimes we (the pastors) have to spend a disproportionate amount of time operating outside of our giftedness. That's changing for sure, but it is still in process.
What is the greatest challenge you face?
Without even thinking of the challenges that come with starting a church, I personally struggle most with finding balance. There's so much that can/should/must be done in ministry and the list isn't any shorter when it comes to my personal growth or my family. It's so much easy to say what's right or what needs to be priority than to actually follow through and live that way.
What is the greatest threat to your ministry?
I honestly think it's me. If I've really been called to this, what else poses a bigger threat than me choosing my own direction, trusting my own instincts or implementing my own plan instead of totally seeking God's direction and plan? If my spiritual relationship is weak, so is the ministry. If my prayers are small, so is the ministry. And if my God-reliance is limited, so is the ministry.
What is the most difficult part of pastoring?
Unmet expectations. They could be my own or other people's, either way, I find myself being disappointed. Myabe I expected a certain response or success but when it doesn't happen I'm disappointed (or worse, frustrated). Maybe somebody discovers that we're not going to do things the way their "old church" used to do it. I can handle that, but if they can't they can sometimes drain me.
Noel, (or perhaps more appropriately Sid Draper,)
Do they actually have conventions for whistlers??
Funny timing on your blog, because I resigned this morning.
Your post may have been in reference to senior pastors, which I’m not, but figured I’d respond anyway. The biggest issues for me were:
(1) My passion and giftedness did not fit what the church needs from someone in my position. As the Discipleship Pastor, things like small groups, shepherding, visitation, etc. fell under my responsibility. Meanwhile, God was growing my passion hot for preaching. It’s what He’s enabled me to do best, and I stink at most of the other stuff.
(2)My philosophy of ministry is quite different from the Lead Pastor’s. Don’t get me wrong—we’re great friends—but our differing approaches began to surface and cause dissonance. My understanding of biblical pastoral ministry is using your gifts and equipping others to do the same, while he leans more toward pastors doing the ministry.
Anyway, that’s why I resigned this morning. I have no idea what comes next, but I think this was a necessary step. I’ve now stepped out into the snow and am locking eyes with the lion. Only I feel like I’m in my boxers and wielding nothing more potent than a snowball. But I know God reigns!
First off I want to thank you for blogging. We don't realize the impact we can have when we do things outside the box as ministers! In response to your questions....
What is the greatest challenge you face?
Well me and my wife have been fulltime youth pastors for almost 2 years. I was raised in a christian home and she was raised in a atheist's home. Probably one of the greatest challenges is to remember who put you in ministry. Not yourself, and not people, but God! You are ministering to people as well as God, but when people let you down or hurt you, remembering that your identity is in Christ will help pull you through!
What is the greatest threat to your ministry?
The greatest threat of course is the Devil......but really it is our response to life that can be the greatest threat. Obviously if God is pulling for us he has got our back but I think that I really run in to issues when I get prideful, or take credit, or just try to do things my way. The old cliche' let go and let GOD, easier said then done but totally true!
What is the most difficult part of pastoring?
Well we Pastor teens, and one of the things that we struggle with sometimes is the weight of ministry. It is not a 9-5, so you can not always just drop the burndens. It can be tough, but emotionally, spiritually, socially, mentally, physically, etc.....all of these suffer at times do to the weight of being a minister! People say Jesus never promised it would be easy, and we have to totally live in surrender to his perfect will easy or not....but it is worth it all!
P.S. We need to be good stewards. Of course with the new year, me and my wife are trying to continue to be better stewards of our money and health, but we need to be good stewards of our time, relationships, and everything else. I guess a prayer and hope for this new year!
Be encouraged! Thanks for you ministry. (In a pit rocks......) hopefully doing a bible study with our teens! God bless!
Noel said...
Like Sid Draper said, "Being in ministry is like being a stray dog at a whistlers convention."
That's one of the funniest descriptions of ministry I've ever heard :)
Laughing out loud.
Mark
I heard him say that at a conference I was attending and I almost fell out of my chair laughing. It was a tad embarrassing because I was at the front table (a place I normally avoid) and no one else was laughing as hard as me.
This is precisely why my wife doesn't like to go to movies with me.
Hi Mark,
I just thought I would share my insight on this subject. My wife and I just went through a year of dealing with this first hand.
A few thoughts on why I wanted to quit.
- I didn’t see any viable ministry options when I wanted to see them.
- I had no confidence in myself because of past failure.
- I wanted a life that I thought was more normal.
- I honestly wanted more money.
- I wanted my wife to be happy.
What is the greatest threat to your ministry?
I struggle with the 2 F's. Frustration and Feelings of Failure. I get frustrated when it seems as if I can't motivate people to do something (i.e., serve). And this frustration leads to feelings of failure. Here's the stupid mental trip I take sometimes. I can't convince people to serve. If I can't convince them to serve, how will I ever convince to really know Jesus? If I can't motivate the churched to do something, how can I ever convict the unchurched to accept the grace of Jesus? I'd better find another job.
Did you notice how much pressure I'm putting on myself? I can sum up the biggest threat to my ministry in one word: me. Far too often I rely on myself instead of on God. And that's a recipe for disaster.
What is the most difficult part of pastoring?
For me, one of the most difficult parts is dealing with criticism. I stink at it. (After reading Craig Groeschel's Confessions, I felt better knowing that I'm not alone in this struggle.) I find it very hard to endure criticism when I'm pouring my heart and soul into this ministry. It would be different if I wasn't doing my very best, but I am. Thankfully I don't receive an overabundance of criticism from my church. On the whole, this church is a very encouraging and loving group of people. However, I can easily forget 10 encouragers when I meet 1 critic.
Most days I am happy being a pastor, today is one of those days I want to quit – but even on days I’m not eager to quit I still think I could walk away with no regrets – easily. Today is bad because yesterday I had a conversation with one of those people that drains me. It usually takes a couple of days for me to recover from conversations with this person.
But, as I have analyzed myself and my ministry here are a few things that stick out.
I think Billy Graham once said that most people who go into the ministry do so out of a sense of guilt or as a means of resolving their past. I’ve come to realize that’s me. I won’t bore you with the details but suffice it to say my childhood wasn’t the best, alcoholic parents and then some . . . I’m a pretty insecure guy and I’ve looked at ministry as a means of resolving my own problems.
I came to realize a few days that I don’t have much of a pastoral heart – I love teaching and preaching but I am not moved by the suffering of my people like I should be. I think that is because of #1.
I can’t stand conflict and will go a hundred miles to avoid it – yet conflict seems to be the name of the game in pastoring a church.
Irrelevance – I did a post the other day called “Lancasterization” – a term I got from Dr. John Leonard at Westminster Seminary. Basically he says that evangelicals only talk to evangelicals and we think the rest of the world is like us and understands us, when in reality we are as odd to the rest of the world as the Amish of Lancaster are to us.
I’m tired of the pressure to keep repeating the things we have always done. I feel that, if I told my church leaders, and the rest, what I think we really need to do to reach the community they wouldn’t buy it for a second.
Mark,
A lot of people talked about "time" being a problem. Us pastors are so busy. But my biggest challenge is the 'time' problems of others. I preach and live balance and I encourage others to as well. One thing that means is I don't manipulate or guilt people into serving. That's the case on my good days. On my bad days I don't challenge them to it. My people are being abused by corporate America. They travel an ungodly amount. Work crazy hours. How can I ask them to sacrifice more time for church? So I preach that God should take priority. I preach the gospel of simplification. But I have a horrible time inviting people into ministry leadership. I rarely hear the successful Christian leaders talk about this. What's the secret?
[b]What is the greatest challenge you face?[/b]
Dealing with unrealistic expectations and never having enough money.
[b]What is the greatest threat to your ministry?[/b]
Carnal "christians" who would rather stay stuck in the 60's than reach people for Jesus.
[b]What is the most difficult part of pastoring?[/b] Dealing with "christians."
I think you and your readers have rounded up "all the usual suspects" (to use Bogart's line in Casablanca) in the lineup of reasons pastors quit the ministry and I think they are all "guilty as charged," but I believe another, completely different factor also plays into it all.
Many, many pastors do not understand to what degree God is working in them even when they do not realize it, and that the problems, stresses, pressures, challenges, heartaches, disappointments, questions, doubts, fears, etc., they are facing are not necessarily signs that something is wrong with where they are or what they are doing. To the contrary, sometimes all of that is actually the result of being exactly where God wants them to be as they walk out their faith journey toward becoming more like Him, and being able to lead others for Him.
My wife and I invested twenty years of our lives in western Europe, including several years pastoring a church in Paris, France. The two most important lessons I learned in that spiritually difficult place were:
1. God is able to help me abound in fruitfulness as I rely on Him in the face of fierce spiritual need and opposition.
2. He really was far more concerned with working in me than He was with working through me.
That second part came as a complete shock to my system, given the level of God-given passion I had to see French men and women come to Christ and my thoroughly Armenian theology!
Realizing it is true, however, brought great peace and stability to my life and ministry, and actually provoked me to pursue greater effectiveness right where I was. After all, if you think your problems, or even your unfruitfulness, are the result of circumstances, then you think the answer is to change churches or even leave the ministry entirely, but if you have a deep, settled conviction that you are where God placed you, then you find yourself constrained to swallow your pride, develop better leadership/interpersonal/communications skills or whatever else it takes so you can become the leader God is calling you to be in the place where He has planted you.
Although we have never met, my guess is that you have already been through some of that in your own life, and that it was part of what brought you to the place where God can use you the way He is!
Blessings to you, my brother!
Mark Brand
harvestleadership.blogspot.com
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