If you were to ask me what my deepest desire and greatest challenge is right now I'd have to say it's helping my oldest son, Parker, become a man after God's own heart. I want to be the best dad I can be. Nothing is more important. And I'm absolutely determined.
He's still a boy, but he is growing up so fast. And as your kids get older it seems like the stakes get higher! And I want to help him navigate these critical years in his development. I'm praying for him like crazy. And I'm also reading like crazy.
Read a couple great books in the last few weeks. I read The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge in one sitting from Washington, DC to Seattle, Washington. And I just finished Raising a Modern Day Knight.
I just know that if I let my kids grow up without any strategy or intentionality I'll regret it the rest of my life. I want to mentor and disciple my kids. I want to be as proactive as I can possibly be. Nothing is as challenging. Nothing is more important.
FYI--I know alot of parents carry alot of guilt because they feel like they weren't the father or mother they should have been. A word of encouragement: it's never too late to be who you might have been!
He's still a boy, but he is growing up so fast. And as your kids get older it seems like the stakes get higher! And I want to help him navigate these critical years in his development. I'm praying for him like crazy. And I'm also reading like crazy.
Read a couple great books in the last few weeks. I read The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge in one sitting from Washington, DC to Seattle, Washington. And I just finished Raising a Modern Day Knight.
I just know that if I let my kids grow up without any strategy or intentionality I'll regret it the rest of my life. I want to mentor and disciple my kids. I want to be as proactive as I can possibly be. Nothing is as challenging. Nothing is more important.
FYI--I know alot of parents carry alot of guilt because they feel like they weren't the father or mother they should have been. A word of encouragement: it's never too late to be who you might have been!
19 Comments:
Hey Mark
Robert Lewis' Men's Fraternity material is INCREDIBLE. There is three years of it, but specifically the second half of year one is simply priceless...he builds a manhood definition, talks about responsibilities, etc.
You are right on the mark (pun intended). If leadership is influence, which it is, what could be more important in the Kingdom of God than how we use that influence to lay down tracks that our children can follow to find Christ. Keep learning, questioning, experimenting and teaching (and apologizing when necessary!)
John,
Do you have a link or more 411 on the material--love to get it myself and let others know where to get their hands on it...
Thanks,
Mark
We have used the material here for 4 years and bar none...it is the best at building men.
If you really want to use it let me know and i'd be glad to shoot you how I shortened it...each year is 24 lessons and i've combo'd and cut them down to 16...we do 8 in the fall and 8 in the spring. also the best evangelistic process for men i've ever used...not churchy at all
www.mensfraternity.com
jb
www.fellowshipmemphis.org
www.johnbryson.org
Mark,
That last line is fantastic: "It's never too late to be who you might have been." I'm going to use that in this Sunday's bulletin section called "Biblical but not from the Bible." ("Food for Thought" was just too overdone for me.)
Mark,
What a great last line: "It's never too late to be who you might have been." I'm going to use that in my bulletin this week in a section I call "Biblical but not from the Bible." ("Food for Thought" was just too common for me.)
I enjoy your creativity and how it provokes me.
Ron
Mark-
Began reading your blog not long ago. Love your insights and creative thinking - thanks for stimulating my thinking and making me smile. Robert Lewis's book is great as well as Eldredge's. Go back and read Wild at Heart as well. Check out the Men's Fraternity material at mensfraternity.com The quote from Lewis attributed to Tennyson - the motto of a knight is great: "Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King" - priceless!
I love it. I grew up with a Dad that didn't know what he was doing - pretty good guy, but pretty bad father. Anyway, I vowed to be the best Dad ever.
If you would not object Mark, I am going to link these wise words to my most recent post about being a minister at HOME first. It is part of a series of post that I am writing about "Doing" Christianity.
Keep posting Mark - I read every one of them.
Mark!
A big thank you for your ministry, clear out here in San Diego.
Any powerful resources for raising a 12 year old daughter to be a woman of God?
My next few years will be interesting to say the least! I am very proud of her and optimistic, yet need further tools.
Thank you!
CJ,
Lora and I were talking about that last night :) Are there resources for raising daughters to be women of God? My son is older so I'm more focused on that right now, but I'm not sure...I sure would like to know if there are comparable resources...
Mark
I completely agree that it's important to have some kind of strategy in raising your children. I also think it's even more important to be mindful of how you act in front of you children.
A lot of sons learn how to be a man by seeing what kind of man their father is.
Pastor Mark, I am so encouraged and challenged by the intentionality with which you do everything. Thank you for setting an example.
Just wanted to respond to the question about resources for daughters...I found some cool stuff my daughter LOVES...it's called Secret Keeper Girl. It's geared for girls ages 8-12. It's by Dannah Gresh and put out by Moody Publishers...they have conferences, etc too. The website is http://www.purefreedom.org/.
Robert Lewis also has a series called "The New Eve" on raising Godly daughters and one of the lessons in the 1st year of Men's Frat is "Raising Daughters"
jb
www.fellowshipmemphis.org
www.johnbryson.org
Talking about feeling guilty makes me think of the book "Have You Hugged Your Teenager Today?" by Patricia Rushford...some good suggestions.
As a single parent of 3 boys, (no contact from their father, who was abusive to me), it's difficult teaching them how men are supposed to act. I have purposely searched for Christian male and marriage role models. You're right--raising kids needs to be deliberate.
For any child I think they need to see us as parents acting the way we want them to, let them see our struggles, be honest, show integrity, and don't be afraid to be vulnerable and real...sometimes that's the best place to grow and communicate.
I know it's a source that most people have heard about but I think one of the most important places to start in parenting is knowing how to show love to your kids that will "fill their love tank." The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell is a worthy read. If we know the love language of our children, it helps in discipline, relationships and communication.
My accountability partner has led workshops/small groups on Men's Fraternity...he loves it...says its a must for men with sons.
Mark it is the highest calling you have after being a great husband. My youngest is son 22 oldest is 28 with a daughter in between, this does not make me an expert but they seem to be pretty decent. If I could offer a few things; Remember you are not perfect they were not immaculately concieved, so try as you might your kids will from time to time choose evil behavior. You and I did and so will they. But be as consistent as you can be. And don't make excuses for bad behavior, yours or their's. When you are wrong confess it ask for forgiveness and move on. "Rules without relationship equals rebellion". (D. McAllister) Ask them to pray for you for specific things (age appropriate they are probably average in their development) Ask them what you can pray for them. Ask them who in their lives needs to be closer to Jesus. And start young both you and them. And cut yourself some appropriate slack, you are not enough but some very amazing things are possible when we walk with God.
The arts and the sciences of man, as with his habits,
customs, and traditions, are the creative harvest of
his perceptive and selective powers. Creativity, the
creative process, is a choice-making process. His
articles, constructs, and commodities, however
marvelous to behold, deserve neither awe nor idol-
atry, for man, not his contrivance, is earth's own
highest expression of the creative process.
Human is earth's Choicemaker. Psalm 25:12 He is by
nature and nature's God a creature of Choice - and of
Criteria. Psalm 119:30,173 His unique and definitive
characteristic is, and of Right ought to be, the natural
foundation of his environments, institutions, and re-
spectful relations to his fellow-man. Thus, he is orien-
ted to a Freedom whose roots are in the Order of the
universe.
Let us proclaim it. Behold!
The Season of Generation-Choicemaker Joel 3:14 KJV
- from The HUMAN PARADIGM
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