Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
Got an email today, Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity, that produced high levels of LOL. Thought I'd pass a few of my favorites:
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
7. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
10. Sing Along At The Opera.
11. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
12. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
7. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
10. Sing Along At The Opera.
11. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
12. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
11 Comments:
Great stuff; I actually heard the car in front of me do #9 at an establishment in College Park last year, and they weren't kidding!
Funny!
I liked 5 7 8 & 9.
I'm LOL'ing at Panera Bread. I love how you try not to take yourself to seriously.
brilliant!
That's a great list, in accordance with prophecy.
funny. i just had this as a post on my blog about 3 days ago. ha!
Great stuff! Related to #9: One time I saw a guy in a drive-thru sticking his arm out and pointing at the menu (which was around the corner from the window).
This definitely made my day!
Hey Mark.
I stumbled across your blog somewhere. I don't really know where, but anyways. I like what I've seen so far. This blog especially is hilarious.
Anyways, have a nice day. :)
Eric
I recently e-mailed a similar list to a group of friends. Made me LOL.
Here's another one to add. When going through the drive through to bring home a meal for your family, pretend they are in the car with you while you are on the intercom (telling kids to be quiet, etc.). I've had a friend do this and he loved the look on the drive through cashier's face when she realized he was alone in the car.
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