We had a situation in one of our services today that I thought was worth processing via blog. We had a guest who was dancing all over the place during worship. We certainly want people to have the freedom to worship God within their personality. And I certainly believe in expressive worship. But there is a fine line between worshipping God and distracting everybody around you. And I felt like he crossed that line when he started dancing all over the front of the theater. It was hard to focus on God. This guy became the focal point of worship. And I felt like maybe he wanted to be. Because we felt like his worship was interfering with other people's worship we asked him to simply stay in one place so it didn't interfere with our interpretation for the deaf.
I never want to quench the Holy Spirit. And I'm challenged by expressive worshippers. But I also know that our spirits are under our control according to I Corinthians 14:32. And the overall tone of I Corinthians 14 is this balance between an openness to the spirit and orderly services. It's awfully tough to strike a balance between those two things! All you can do is be sensitive the spirit and try to make a decision that honors God.
I have always felt like leaders are too reticent to offend one person even when they are compromising the experience of multiple people. It doesn't matter whether it's a small group or a church service. I try to make my decisions thinking about how it effects the entire flock. Sometimes you need to pull one sheep aside and be graceful and truthful with them. That is what I tried to do with this guy. I affirmed his apparent exuberance for God. But I explained that his worship was distracting and interfering with the people around him. And he didn't disagree.
I openly talked about the situation in this service because it was so obvious. I just feel like those are teachable moments. These unplanned moments are wonderful opportunities to be real and raw. And the key isn't even what you say. It is always the spirit with which you operate that is heard loud and clear.
I never want to quench the Holy Spirit. And I'm challenged by expressive worshippers. But I also know that our spirits are under our control according to I Corinthians 14:32. And the overall tone of I Corinthians 14 is this balance between an openness to the spirit and orderly services. It's awfully tough to strike a balance between those two things! All you can do is be sensitive the spirit and try to make a decision that honors God.
I have always felt like leaders are too reticent to offend one person even when they are compromising the experience of multiple people. It doesn't matter whether it's a small group or a church service. I try to make my decisions thinking about how it effects the entire flock. Sometimes you need to pull one sheep aside and be graceful and truthful with them. That is what I tried to do with this guy. I affirmed his apparent exuberance for God. But I explained that his worship was distracting and interfering with the people around him. And he didn't disagree.
I openly talked about the situation in this service because it was so obvious. I just feel like those are teachable moments. These unplanned moments are wonderful opportunities to be real and raw. And the key isn't even what you say. It is always the spirit with which you operate that is heard loud and clear.
15 Comments:
Even though I was not there, I agree that the situation was handled correctly.
And I suggest that other leaders also address these obvious distractions to the entire congregation. From my past experiences, the church leaders that do this seem more genuine and are able to leave a more memorable message since the congregation has a direct example to relate it to.
Never a easy thing to do, but a loving spirit is always a help.
www.matthewsblog.waynesborochurchofchrist.org
This happened in our service today, and the first thing on my google reader was this post! Brilliant!
Mark, you might have also witnessed this but at a Leadership Summit some years ago during a Bill Hybels talk, someone stood up during Bill's talk and loudly starting affirming what Bill was saying. Then she segued into what sounded like a rant. Bill handled it masterfully, pausing for a moment and saying something like, "I think that when we hear feedback like that we need to consider what is being said. Let me take a moment to pray and ask God to give us discernment." Then he did exactly that and deftly switched back to his talk.
Brilliant handling. We are in a very urban area as well, and this is always on my radar. Your reaction was perfect!
Sounds like one of those situations where you're looking around to see who's going to do something and everyone is looking back at you. We've had this happen in our ministry, too. I think the people appreciate it when they see confident leadership and spiritual authority.
In the past 6 months, I have had two distractions which completely took me off guard:
1) While closing the service in prayer, I realized a couple was making out in the front row. I saw tongue...lot's of tongue.
2) A teenage visitor sat in the front row right in front of me and talked to me the entire sermon.
Somehow our first row attracts the weirdos.
We just had this topic brought up at our small group 4 days ago. The young adults (18-20) want to express themselves more in worship and dislike being confined to their seating area. I used almost the exact words as Mark "There is a fine line between worship and being a distraction" I felt maybe I was quenching their Spirit. Glad I read Mark's blog and others comments. God's timing is awesome!
Well done. There is a huge ditch to fall in concerning the handling such situations. In a similar talk with our elders one of them spoke of a time in our (80 year old) church when tongues would literally shake and scare the people. My question to this dear man: "Is that the point of tongues/prophecy? Or is it the message?" He had never been asked such a thing. I guess in some places/churches the judges give that high marks. Now, I don't personally feel compelled lead a 'seeker sensitive' church as such. I just think we have been passively and sometimes deliberately seeker insensitive. Good call talking about it right away. It models healthy community.
Hi Mark -
I really appreciate this post, especially as a worship leader for our church. I have some teenage girls that sit in the front row and they put actions to every song that we worship to. At first I found it to be distracting to the band, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that their actions are probably helping them memorize the lyrics to these tunes much better than the average Joe that is reading them up on our screens. =) Not really the case in which it's distracting to the rest of the church, but I really had to pray about it to determine if I needed to say something. In the end, I felt like God affirmed in my heart it was okay for the girls to choreograph the songs as long as it wasn't impacting the folks around them.
Oh, I forgot to ask...How did the member of the church handle this situation when you openly spoke to him/her and the church?
Erik,
He was a guest which was a key factor--sort of an unknown quantity. He did come back afterwards which I really respected. I told him exactly why we handled it that way. And he seemed to agree. So I think it was redemptive.
I also think I detected some alcohol on his breath which really adds a layer of complication. And might explain the dancing.
I think we made the right decision, but it is tough nonetheless.
Mark
Mark,
We had a similar situation a couple of months ago. We had a lady show up with a shiny gold flag that was like 4' X 6' and started waving it during worship. Then she decided to walk up & down aisles of our theater and proceeded to hit about 5 people in the head and then she waved it in front of the projector. It was a HUGE distraction!!! I talked to hear and she said she understood...only to come back 2 weeks later with a huge PURPLE flag!!! My lead usher spoke to her and she has kept the flag in the bag she brings it in.
Mark,
I thought you handled the situation correctly. It's never a good thing to have one person become the center of attention during worship.
True story: My worship leader at church sometimes, when leading the choir, clapps his hands together REALLY LOUD; you can here it above the choir! I know he's doing it to get the choir "insync", but it really does distract!
Mark, I know this is my first post here, so please consider this advice: people are not sheep. I understand why church attendees or members are called this, but consider that people be called people - not an animal. People are not dumb, and a pastor who refers to his congregation as "sheep" may not even realize that it sounds like he may be putting himself over the "flock".
Peace bro!
I think you did exactly the right thing. The slam the comes to leaders handling this kind of situation is that they are "quenching the Holy Spirit". However, I am guided by one main principle from 1 Corinthians 14: "whatever is done must be done for the building up of the church". So in a similar situation I have come next the person and said quietly to them, "Your freedom is quenching the Spirit for everyone else here. You need to stop now". You can always see what's in the heart of a person in how they respond to that kind of instruction. I have had to take it a step farther in handling it publicly when the person did not respond to personal instruction. It was a good teaching moment for the whole church. I have seen one result of that kind of good leadership: the proper spiritual liberty of the whole church took a leap forward! I believer the reason for that is that good-hearted people want to know where the appropriate boundaries are and want to see that their leaders can handle unexpected things with grace. It provides a safe atmosphere for expression. Ego-driven people will be easily offended, even connect scriptures to their offenses. But bottom line is that they don't value the whole church as much as they value their personal sense of freedom. Biblical boundaries don't quench the Holy Spirit; He wrote them!
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