Lines of Communication
Took Summer on a little date last night. It's been too long since our last one! One of the things I'm learning as a dad is the value of one-on-one time. It's a whole different dynamic than when we're together as an entire family. My goal as a parent is to keep the lines of communication open so my kids feel like they can talk to me about anything and everything, especially when they get into some things that are over their heads!
Nothing like quality time with your kids. And I think the only way to have quality time is quantity time. I often feel under-qualified and over-whelmed by the changes my kids are going through. I feel like I need more parenting skilz. You know what I mean? But one thing every parent can do, no matter how skilled or unskilled, is just spend good old-fashioned one-on-one time with their kids.
My deepest desire as a dad is to see my kids grow up to love God and want to hang out with us when they are old enough to have a choice. But I think they'll want to hang out with us then if we hang out with them now!
6 Comments:
I am sensing a parenting book in your future.
I agree completely! One of the things I am trying to do with my kids is spend one on one time with them each week. They're both still elementary and pre-school age but I want them to know that they are important to me. I agree that if I do this now it could change how they see me when they are teenagers.
Something I have found that is really important is to have no-agenda one-on-one time. If your only one-on-one time is when you talk about heavy stuff or grill them about their grades, your kids will learn to dread one-on-one time with you. If you have something heavy you want to talk about, make time for that, but do it outside of your "date" time.
So true Rob. Whatever they want to talk about is the agenda :)
I think there are other times where you can bring up issues that need to be addressed. I do with with my FSM with Parker because it's the right context. But I think a date is a date--the goal is to hang out. And God has a way of ordaining the right conversations!
Mark
Mark, this is really well said. I needed it today and I think that some of my blog readers need to hear this too. Do you mind if I quote you and link to you?
Noah Kaye,
Capital Christian Fellowship in Lanham, MD
Noah,
Feel free to share anything you want :)
Mark
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