I think this is my eighth catalyst conference. And I have to say that today was maybe the most powerful day of speakers I've ever heard. It ministered to my mind and my heart.
The last session of the day was Craig Groeschel. And his last point or last prayer was "ruin me." It comes down to this: our hearts need to break for the things that break the heart of God. And I felt ruined. In fact, we usually try to beat the traffic and be the first ones out. But our team couldn't leave. We found a conference room to talk and cry and pray.
As we sat in the balcony during that last session, I felt like the Holy Spirit took me back to my initial call in college. And He said in that spirit voice: what happened to the guy that used to pace the chapel balcony for hours seeking my heart? It messed me up. Broke me. Wrecked me.
I need to quit ministry and go back to calling.
May God ruin us!
The last session of the day was Craig Groeschel. And his last point or last prayer was "ruin me." It comes down to this: our hearts need to break for the things that break the heart of God. And I felt ruined. In fact, we usually try to beat the traffic and be the first ones out. But our team couldn't leave. We found a conference room to talk and cry and pray.
As we sat in the balcony during that last session, I felt like the Holy Spirit took me back to my initial call in college. And He said in that spirit voice: what happened to the guy that used to pace the chapel balcony for hours seeking my heart? It messed me up. Broke me. Wrecked me.
I need to quit ministry and go back to calling.
May God ruin us!
11 Comments:
Hey Mark...may God ruin us all! I'm writing from Amman (Jordan), so I couldn't be at this year's Catalyst, but I'm thrilled to hear that it has been so powerful. Blessings! Mark Renfroe (AGWM Area Director for the Middle East and North Africa)
Hey Mark, I heard Craig at Willow's Leadership Conference and then read "IT" and I have prayed that everyday since. Don't worry, if it it you that hard, you are still listening.
Thanks for that Mark. I need to pray that today.
I am ruined Mark. I even titled my blog ruined for the ordinary. Sometimes I feel like I'm going through ministry motions more than being broken before God and freeing people and myself to follow Jesus. Oddly enough, I feel like I'm/my family is being crushed/broken right now.
Here's a paraphrase of a quote from Gene Edwards' "Tale of Three Kings" - what does the world need? Gifted men outwardly empowered or broken men inwardly transformed?
I want to be the latter.
I just got on your blog after listening to your podcast from the Catalyst conference. I love your style. Nice blog. Ruin me is hard to pray..I've collided with life and sometimes i feel ruined but that is just stuff. Letting God ruin you laying self aside. Great lesson. Thanks for all you do. God Bless
Joe McLain
Woodstock, GA
That is a profound and humbling prayer. I didn't make it to the conference, but I wish I had. This almost sounds like the message he gave at your conference called 'disturb me'. I feel that I am right there with you...I too need to quit ministry and get back to my calling. I am reading Os Guinness' book 'The Call', and this goes along with the theme of the book. May I remember my calling and realize that I am not in control, and remember that God is.
Thanks Mark.
Mark...thanks for your transparency. It's cool to see someone that other's view as "arrived" be broken. Just finished talking up w/ a pastor friend who was sharing about Craig's session as well who had the same response. Your book "Wild Goose Chase" has had a tremendous impact in my life lately. When you have a minute check out my blog "Without Vision..." at http://kenjoslin.blogspot.com/, I think you will be blessed...!
As a bi-vocational pastor, I think I have a distinct advantage over some others. Many pastors seems to get stuck in a rut of vocational ministry instead of approaching their ministry as a calling. As a bi-vocational pastor, I can lead the church without income being an issue or distraction and allow ministry to remain in its purest form.
Mark, This is my first trip to Catalyst. I've enjoyed it, but the Spirit worked me over all day yesterday. Steven Furtrick was first and then came Craig. Wow! The Spirit wanted to know why I had turned to skill, experience, and knowledge instead of heart, passion and total dependence on God. The first 3 are great when used in dependence on the later 3 but not without them. I don't have the "IT" I once had, but God was already at work in me about that before coming to Catalyst. God just put a name or phrase to it for me. I was so blessed to be here and so blessed to be at this with our entire team from our church. Thanks for commenting on this!
Have never been to Catalyst. This is the first year I have been at a place where I would have felt "good" about being there. Plan for next year for sure. Thanks for this post Mark. Look forward to meeting you at theSticks.
I failed to mention that I especially liked the last line.
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