I've had some heavy duty posts this week so I thought I'd end the week on a light note. I'm a Chuck Norris fan. Loved Walker, Texas Ranger back in the day! But I'm an even bigger fan of Chuck Norris Facts. Here are a few of my favorites.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...twice!
When the bogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got it.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.
If Chuck Norris were President we wouldn't need a military.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
When Chuck Norris falls in water he doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
So many Chuck Norris facts. So little time.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...twice!
When the bogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got it.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.
If Chuck Norris were President we wouldn't need a military.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
When Chuck Norris falls in water he doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
So many Chuck Norris facts. So little time.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird!
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door!
Chuck Norris doesn't do "push-ups" he pushes the earth down!!!
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin behind his beard... he has a third fist!
Chuck Norris ended the Never Ending Story!
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. : )
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Ghosts are actually the product of Chuck Norris killing faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
type "Where is Chuck Norris?" into Google and click on the top response.
This is what you'll find:
"Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you."
There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow
Dinosaurs are extinct because of the ChuckNorrissaurus
Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, action star and television and film actor who is known for action roles such as Cordell Walker on Walker, Texas Ranger and for his iconically tough image and roundhouse kick.
Oh wait...I don't get it.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the periodic table. The only element he recognizes is the element of surprise
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
P is for Chuck Norris...as is every other letter in the alphabet
The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind
Chuck Norris’ IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight
Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy
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Jesus could walk on water. But Chuck Norris could swim on land.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity BEFORE his father did.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch...HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave baby Jesus the gift of beard....
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