Thought I'd share a few thoughts on the topic of criticism. I'm honestly surprised I don't have more critics than I do, but I have my fair share. Here is a simple rule of thumb: if you are a leader you will be criticized. Period. If you're not being criticized you might not be a leader! But how you handle it is so critical.
A few months ago I heard Brian Houston say something so good and so true: "I'd rather be a film maker than a film critic." His point? There are those who do and those who criticize those who do. I'd rather be a doer than a critic. And I've learned that the more critical a person is the less they've probably done. Just shooting straight.
In the words of Teddy Roosevelt: "It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or the where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood."
Life is too short and the message is too important to spend our energies criticizing each other. Infighting must break the Heavenly Father's heart. It's self-righteous. It's sideways energy. And when we take pot shots at each other we're just playing into the enemy's hands. We need to be about the Father's business!
Let me share a few lessons I've learned about criticism:
1) Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees. Jesus didn't have the time of day for the self-appointed critics who formed the religious establishment. He didn't back down. He confronted their hypocrisy. If you follow in Jesus' footsteps, you'll offend some pharisees along the way!
2) Don't play defense. Life is too short to get defensive. Celebrate your weaknesses and failures. That'll defuse criticism quicker than anything else. Keep a humble spirit but keep playing offense for the kingdom!
3) Consider the source! An insult from a fool is actually a compliment and a compliment from a fool is actually an insult.
4) Preach for an audience of one. The only person you're accountable to as a preacher is the One who called you in the first place. Never forget it. And for the record, critics will also be held accountable for the criticisms they wield so easily and so quickly.
5) Don't get into an argument! I love Proverbs 26:4, "When arguing with fools, don't answer their foolish arguments, or you will become as foolish as they are." The very next verse says, "When arguing with fools, be sure to answer their foolish arguments, or they will become wise in their own estimation." Those back-to-back verse seem to contradict each other but I think they reveal a deeper truth: if you're arguing with a fool you can't win.
6) Make sure criticism passes the filter test. I love the way Erwin McManus says this: "Don't let an arrow of criticism pierce your heart unless it passes through the filter of Scripture." If criticism passes the biblical filter, then you better repent. If it doesn't pass the filter test, then rebuke it. Either way, make sure your heart stays soft.
One last thing. A leader is never beyond rebuke, correction or exhortation. But I would advise that you listen to the people who know you and love you. In fact, make sure you have people in your life that can speak truth and hold you accountable.
The bottom line? Don't be a critic. Be a doer of deeds.
A few months ago I heard Brian Houston say something so good and so true: "I'd rather be a film maker than a film critic." His point? There are those who do and those who criticize those who do. I'd rather be a doer than a critic. And I've learned that the more critical a person is the less they've probably done. Just shooting straight.
In the words of Teddy Roosevelt: "It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or the where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood."
Life is too short and the message is too important to spend our energies criticizing each other. Infighting must break the Heavenly Father's heart. It's self-righteous. It's sideways energy. And when we take pot shots at each other we're just playing into the enemy's hands. We need to be about the Father's business!
Let me share a few lessons I've learned about criticism:
1) Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees. Jesus didn't have the time of day for the self-appointed critics who formed the religious establishment. He didn't back down. He confronted their hypocrisy. If you follow in Jesus' footsteps, you'll offend some pharisees along the way!
2) Don't play defense. Life is too short to get defensive. Celebrate your weaknesses and failures. That'll defuse criticism quicker than anything else. Keep a humble spirit but keep playing offense for the kingdom!
3) Consider the source! An insult from a fool is actually a compliment and a compliment from a fool is actually an insult.
4) Preach for an audience of one. The only person you're accountable to as a preacher is the One who called you in the first place. Never forget it. And for the record, critics will also be held accountable for the criticisms they wield so easily and so quickly.
5) Don't get into an argument! I love Proverbs 26:4, "When arguing with fools, don't answer their foolish arguments, or you will become as foolish as they are." The very next verse says, "When arguing with fools, be sure to answer their foolish arguments, or they will become wise in their own estimation." Those back-to-back verse seem to contradict each other but I think they reveal a deeper truth: if you're arguing with a fool you can't win.
6) Make sure criticism passes the filter test. I love the way Erwin McManus says this: "Don't let an arrow of criticism pierce your heart unless it passes through the filter of Scripture." If criticism passes the biblical filter, then you better repent. If it doesn't pass the filter test, then rebuke it. Either way, make sure your heart stays soft.
One last thing. A leader is never beyond rebuke, correction or exhortation. But I would advise that you listen to the people who know you and love you. In fact, make sure you have people in your life that can speak truth and hold you accountable.
The bottom line? Don't be a critic. Be a doer of deeds.
20 Comments:
Hmmm... I agree with it all, but especially like the last one. Entering into the argument, nitpicking defensively, can end up making you look weak and foolish. The compulsive need to address every perceived critic can almost become a bad mental habit!
I'd love it if you wrote a post about "taking up others offenses" - what happens/how do we react when someone criticizes a close friend or loved one in leadership?
Isn't confronting Pharisees' hypocrisy tantamount to criticizing them?
I find your thoughts very helpful for those who really try to do their best, who regularly examine themselves, who do not consider themselves the peak of wisdom etc.
How to react to those who do NOT try to do their best, who do NOT examine themselves, and who DO consider themselves the benchmark for all wisdom, and who resort to arguments similar to yours?
Thanks Mark. The quote from Roosevelt is one of my all time favorites.
My personal rule BEFORE writing off criticism: examine my heart.
Am I walking in the fear of the Lord? Do I have a pure heart and clear conscience?
If so, I can humbly accept honest criticism without defense, and ignore inappropriate criticism.
Final thought: hurting people hurt people. It's how I personally reconcile the mistreatment of others toward me. I'm the lightning rode of their hurt. Fortunately, God gave me thick skin, so I may be the best person to handle their attacks.
Just my 2 cents.
Thanks Mark,
I appreciate your thoughts - it really has been a battle with me lately - being a critic is very easy - but I got a Holy Spirit "Smack" a month or so ago and it has set me straight - thanks for the reminder.
So from this I am to gather that we are to be humble and yet assume that anyone who dares to criticize us is either a fool or a Pharisee? And we are to confront pharisees but avoid arguments??
Steve,
As soon as a leader thinks they are above rebuke or correction it's the beginning of the end. But "the wounds of a friend" are worth more than compliments from a flatterer.
Listen to the people you love and love you. You can discern a person's spirit pretty easily :) You know whether it's Pharisaical or not.
PM
Mark - love the Roosevelt quote and we need to do more to empower leaders and believers into the arena.
I know you have posted thoughts on criticism a couple of times this year so it is something on your mind as a leader. I think in the criticism we can find an opportunity to reveal ourselves as vulnerable and human - in need of grace as much as the critic.
Thank you for clarifying in the comments on the fool/pharisee piece but similarly to that question - how do we seek out at least review from those around us that we trust? What systems to you recommend for creating an environment that allows people that are "shareholders" in your life and ministry to feel comfortable in sharing concerns - before we have to label them criticisms?
Great post Mark. I remember Rick Warren telling us one time that he treat criticism like he chews bubble gum, "I chew it for a while but I never swallow it."
Jonathan,
This post is really intended to encourage pastors. #1 reason pastors quit is unwarranted criticism. I just know it's a huge issue for leaders.
Most pastors have accountability structures--mentors, boards, etc. My post assumes that.
Off the record, this isn't internal criticism from NCC. That has never been an issue for me. This is really a response to being branded a heretic and preaching "salvation by works" by those who have never been to NCC and certainly didn't hear last weekend's message. There are a growing number of bloggers who are self-appointed critics. I'm guessing none of them pastor a church or preach from a pulpit :)
A few of my pastor friends have targets on their backs too. Part of me laughs at it. Part of me cries because it's such a waste of kingdom time and energy.
Hope that helps clarify.
PM
How come the ONLY options for your critics are that they either are...
1. Fools
2. Pharisees.
What about option 3???
Option 3 is that you are a sinful human and your critic(s) have rightfully pointed out a bona fide short coming or error and you will listen to your critic(s) and repent.
Many of the visible thought leaders in the Purpose-Driven / Seeker-Driven movement share a common sin. They arrogantly think they are always right and their critics are nothing but a bunch of jealous fools or pharisees. Old Testament Israel thought similar things about the prophets who were calling them to repent of their false teaching and idolatry.
Chris,
This blog post is specifically geared toward unwarranted or unfair criticism. I'll do another post another time on warranted or fair criticism. So important that leaders know how to deflect unwarranted criticism (the point of this post) and repent (the subject of another post).
Hope that distinction makes sense.
Mark
Mark,
I don't see ANYTHING in this post that would flag it in my mind as advice regarding "unwarranted" criticism.
If that was your intention then you did not succeed in making that clear.
Mark I agree with the things you have said because it is easy to let criticism eat at you even when it is not warranted. However, I think you have made it pretty clear to surround yourself with people who can be honest with you to let you know if you are headed in the right direction. One rule that I have started to adopt is if I get a "mystery" criticism where someone leaves ananymous letter I won't read it. If someone tells someone through the grapevine a complaint they have but they don't want the source to be revealed I don't listen to it. Too often people go about things in the wrong way when they should at least go to that person they have a problem with. I have always heard we need to have tough skin but a soft heart sometimes that can be pretty difficult though.
Chris,
I try to keep my blogs short :) Gotta remember it's a blog not a dissertation :) Hope you hear my heart not just the words.
Blessings,
Mark
I don't think this post says that criticism is only from Pharisees or fools. Mark clearly states that we should look to see if the criticism is biblical, and if it is, we should take it to heart. It also says that we should consider the source, implying that some sources will give more useful and honest criticism. Etc.
I love the phrase, "Hurting people hurt people." That really helps you reframe unwarranted criticism. It also helps you defuse your own emotions surrounding criticism so you can get to the core of the critique and evaluate whether it is true or not.
I'm a professor so I get lots of criticism from students. I try to go by the mantra, "Feedback not failure." Criticism helps me improve.
Appropriate that the critics came out to attack this post but their criticisms ring hollow. Good post Mark. Love the quote from Erwin.
Also important to remember when are in a position where we need to criticize that our words not only need to be true but presented in a way they can be received. That is tough.
Thou Shalt Offend Pharisees. Jesus didn't have the time of day for the self-appointed critics who formed the religious establishment.
Mark,
I'd love to hear your thoughts as to how can someone know whether or not they are actually the Pharisee? Simply because someone is critical doesn't automatically make them a pharisee, does it? BTW, I thought the problem with the pharisees was they though they could earn their salvation by observing the law, not that they were critical. Am I wrong in this understanding?
Critical spirit
Cannibal - feeds on itself
Let's starve that sucker!
www.ChristianHaiku.com
(Matt 7:1-2, Luke 6:37-38, Rom 2:1-2, Prov 17:22...)
Randy,
Both/And.
They were legalistic, but they also had a critical spirit. Jesus healed on the sabbath and instead of celebrating the miracle they got bent out of shape because of what day he did it on.
They majored in minors!
What I'm describing in this point is criticism without any biblical foundation.
Mark
good job, Mark.
I am waiting for Criticism 102.
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